i often marvel at God, day by day asking why God do you do things this way or that? take for instance me. why am i a Christian? why me when i know so many others much better then i who are so lost. i have nothing to offer him. i have few skills, a major lack of patience, a temper, and so on. a man who at the very depths of his soul is purely wicked. yet he loves me so, yet he died for me then found me when i was lost and brought me to him. why? why not others? if it is their choice why do they not choose it? how could i have done that? (i really do mean to pose this question im not leading into anything that has to do with theology here). men with twice the mind and schooling are perishing as this fumbling moron hears from God day by day. he tells me his plans and all about his nature and his love for man kind, we have a very close relationship. still at this very moment their are men with doctorate's in divinity who think he is some kind of angel.
when i ponder these things i tend to get down on my self because i really am all those things and i really feel there must have been someone other then me who could have made better use of this salvation. the only answer that comes is that he uses the base things of the world so he gets the glory. and i praise him for that daily! i do not want to sound like thats not a sufficient answer for me because it is the perfect answer!! amen and amen!!! still, it overwhelms me that he can work through such depraved people. he is so great and i am so meager and he wants to be close to me. how, why, it can't be it seems, how can men refuse a God such as this?
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